dekay.org

originally posted in 1992 at a place that no longer exists online (just at archive.org). I believe there are many more versions out there nowadays

You know you’re a tango-junkie when…

• You’ve danced with one of the biggies and survived.
• You own a tango t-shirt and wear it in public - constantly.
• You go through withdrawal without at least one tango-high per week.
• You realize you are being swept away.
• Your descriptions of tango have shifted from unbound enthusiasm to you wouldn’t understand…
• Your friends are secrectly plotting to kidnap you for a week of serious deprogramming.
• You know who Carlos Gardel is.
• You’ve stopped saying sorry when you screw up - you just tango out of the trouble you got into.
• You keep a pair of dance shoes in your car.
• You wish you paid more attention in high school spanish class.
• You’ve sold or moved most of your furniture to give yourself practice space.
• You make sure you never run out of breath mints.
• You no longer freak out at the prospect of leading a boleo.
• You cross state lines to tango.
• You’ve had the big tango-fight with your partner.
• You listen to tango music when you’re not at a practica or milonga.
• You bring your ankles and knees together all the time.
• You plan the rest of your social life so it doesn’t conflict with tango nights.
• You own a bootleg copy of Tango Bar.
• Your wardrobe is predominantly black.
• Ocho is more than just a number.
• Your fantasy travel destination is Buenos Aires.
• You are unable to schedule major surgery without compromising tango commitments.
• You now view the world in terms of people who tango and those unfortunate souls who don’t.
• You’ve progressed from the practice hold to full contact tango.
• You have to work hard to maintain non-tango friendships (if you have any left).
• You’ve been dancing a year and still don’t get bored talking tango.
• You have developed the ability to turn any conversion to tango within 2 minutes.
• You no longer have parties at your house; you host milongas.
• When you look in the mirror, you are usually looking at your feet.
• Your shopping cart often substitutes as your dance partner.
• You’ve figured out how to find the hidden tango sections in any record store.
• Tango never fails to energize, no matter how tired you are.
• Before traveling, you check out the net for tango events in that area.
• You are willing to spend twice as much time driving to a milonga as you actually dance.
• You’ve danced long enough to realize that you want to keep it simple.
• You automatically do something Tango-ish whenever you navigate through a crowd.
• Your computer passwords at work are always phrases related to tango.
• Your ear has been trained to recognize the tango possibilities in all forms of music.
• You remember the place and partner with whom you danced your first real tango.
• Subtle moves have begun to reveal themselves (without lessons).
• You practice the roles of both lead and follow to fully understand the dance.
• You maintain a phone list of the hardcore tangueros in your area.
• You have at least one Kristine Hansen tango poster framed and hanging at home and/or work.
• You bring your own tango CDs to wedding receptions to insure that your requests will be played.
• Tango has diminished, if not ruined, the appeal of every other dance you ever did.
• Little else in your life gets done compared to your pre-tango days.
• Your passion-index is much higher compared to your pre-tango days.
• What pre-tango days?
• You have become nocturnal.
• You regularly shop the local Salvation Army to suppliment your tango wardrobe.
• You wear vintage clothes every week that most people wear once a year to the office xmas party.
• You have a Boa in your closet.
• Friends insert the word Tango before your given name when introducing you to others.
• You have been spotted dancing tango in parking lots.
• Posters for upcoming tango events are always magnetized to your refrigerator.
• You have developed a healthy fear of foot injuries.
• Your interest in shoes can easily be mistaken for a fetish.
• The amount of time you spend on personal grooming has doubled.
• You are considering the purchase of clothing not commonly seen in public.
• You realize how rare it is to find such passion in life.
• You have discovered the pleasures of barefoot tango.
• You dance tango in your mind.
• You have to dance. You have to dance.
• You soak your tired little feet in tango toes foot soak.
• You seek out stories from those who have danced tango in other countries.
• One of the most exciting things in the world is to dance tango with a complete stranger.
• You have been known to sing in the ear of your partner while dancing.
• You recognize that special glow in the night as another hotbed of tango erupts in the distance.
• Your favorite color is tango black.
• Friends and family automatically assume that you want tango-related birthday gifts.
• You have been given a gift of private tango lessons.
• Your have learned the Klassic Kenny move.
• Your have practiced with Rebecca’s Follower’s Technique video at least three times.
• Your mind visualizes and calibrates square-footage in terms of open dance space.
• The thought enters your mind that Johnny Cash was aware of tango black long before you.
• You have found yourself caught in unusual situations that are best described as a Tango Moment.
• You become associated with a signature move.
• You have hosted someone from Buenos Aires at your home.
• You have been known to forget where you parked your car after several hours of tango.
• You have finally heard one too many Hugo Diaz tunes.
• The Tango Police have you under suspicion.
• You will be dancing tango for the rest of your life.
• Weight-Shifts…subtle; Arms…quiet; Chest…guide; Soul…connection.
• You no longer fear the lost-and-found that may happen during a dance.
• Your dancing shoes always look well-used.
• You can’t resist dancing a few tango steps whenever you cross a wooden floor.
• You’ve gone home after a dance with someone else’s glitter on your face.
• Shoes have new focus in your life.
• You find that you sandwich feet far more often than shake hands.
• You have reached a level where your tango reflects your spirit.
• You have considered crossing that line to become a tango gypsy.
• You have experienced the after-glow from a wonderfully connected tango.
• You find that dancers drawn to tango are the most interesting & passionate people you know.
• There is no question that you will always work to improve your dance.
• You draw satisfaction every time you break someone’s Hollywood misconception of the dance.
• You realize that dance presence is as important as dance moves.
• You have trembled in someone’s arms.
• Whenever you wait in line, you must fight the urge to randomly gancho those around you.
• Tango Hugs…mmmmmmm!