dekay.org

originally posted in 1992 at a place that no longer exists online (just at [archive.org](http://web.archive.org/web/20020610195150/http://users.rcn.com/kells.javanet/tSymptoms.htm „Symptoms of a Tango Junkie“)). Ⅰ believe there are many more versions out there nowadays

You know you’re a tango-junkie when…

* You’ve danced with one of the biggies and survived.
* You own a tango t-shirt and wear it in public – constantly.
* You go through withdrawal without at least one tango-high per week.
* You realize you are being swept away.
* Your descriptions of tango have shifted from unbound enthusiasm to you wouldn’t understand…
* Your friends are secrectly plotting to kidnap you for a week of serious deprogramming.
* You know who Carlos Gardel is.
* You’ve stopped saying sorry when you screw up – you just tango out of the trouble you got into.
* You keep a pair of dance shoes in your car.
* You wish you paid more attention in high school spanish class.
* You’ve sold or moved most of your furniture to give yourself practice space.
* You make sure you never run out of breath mints.
* You no longer freak out at the prospect of leading a boleo.
* You cross state lines to tango.
* You’ve had the big tango-fight with your partner.
* You listen to tango music when you’re not at a practica or milonga.
* You bring your ankles and knees together all the time.
* You plan the rest of your social life so it doesn’t conflict with tango nights.
* You own a bootleg copy of Tango Bar.
* Your wardrobe is predominantly black.
* Ocho is more than just a number.
* Your fantasy travel destination is Buenos Aires.
* You are unable to schedule major surgery without compromising tango commitments.
* You now view the world in terms of people who tango and those unfortunate souls who don’t.
* You’ve progressed from the practice hold to full contact tango.
* You have to work hard to maintain non-tango friendships (if you have any left).
* You’ve been dancing a year and still don’t get bored talking tango.
* You have developed the ability to turn any conversion to tango within 2 minutes.
* You no longer have parties at your house; you host milongas.
* When you look in the mirror, you are usually looking at your feet.
* Your shopping cart often substitutes as your dance partner.
* You’ve figured out how to find the hidden tango sections in any record store.
* Tango never fails to energize, no matter how tired you are.
* Before traveling, you check out the net for tango events in that area.
* You are willing to spend twice as much time driving to a milonga as you actually dance.
* You’ve danced long enough to realize that you want to keep it simple.
* You automatically do something Tango-ish whenever you navigate through a crowd.
* Your computer passwords at work are always phrases related to tango.
* Your ear has been trained to recognize the tango possibilities in all forms of music.
* You remember the place and partner with whom you danced your first real tango.
* Subtle moves have begun to reveal themselves (without lessons).
* You practice the roles of both lead and follow to fully understand the dance.
* You maintain a phone list of the hardcore tangueros in your area.
* You have at least one Kristine Hansen tango poster framed and hanging at home and/or work.
* You bring your own tango CDs to wedding receptions to insure that your requests will be played.
* Tango has diminished, if not ruined, the appeal of every other dance you ever did.
* Little else in your life gets done compared to your pre-tango days.
* Your passion-index is much higher compared to your pre-tango days.
* What pre-tango days?
* You have become nocturnal.
* You regularly shop the local Salvation Army to suppliment your tango wardrobe.
* You wear vintage clothes every week that most people wear once a year to the office xmas party.
* You have a Boa in your closet.
* Friends insert the word Tango before your given name when introducing you to others.
* You have been spotted dancing tango in parking lots.
* Posters for upcoming tango events are always magnetized to your refrigerator.
* You have developed a healthy fear of foot injuries.
* Your interest in shoes can easily be mistaken for a fetish.
* The amount of time you spend on personal grooming has doubled.
* You are considering the purchase of clothing not commonly seen in public.
* You realize how rare it is to find such passion in life.
* You have discovered the pleasures of barefoot tango.
* You dance tango in your mind.
* You have to dance. You have to dance.
* You soak your tired little feet in tango toes foot soak.
* You seek out stories from those who have danced tango in other countries.
* One of the most exciting things in the world is to dance tango with a complete stranger.
* You have been known to sing in the ear of your partner while dancing.
* You recognize that special glow in the night as another hotbed of tango erupts in the distance.
* Your favorite color is tango black.
* Friends and family automatically assume that you want tango-related birthday gifts.
* You have been given a gift of private tango lessons.
* Your have learned the Klassic Kenny move.
* Your have practiced with Rebecca’s Follower’s Technique video at least three times.
* Your mind visualizes and calibrates square-footage in terms of open dance space.
* The thought enters your mind that Johnny Cash was aware of tango black long before you.
* You have found yourself caught in unusual situations that are best described as a Tango Moment.
* You become associated with a signature move.
* You have hosted someone from Buenos Aires at your home.
* You have been known to forget where you parked your car after several hours of tango.
* You have finally heard one too many Hugo Diaz tunes.
* The Tango Police have you under suspicion.
* You will be dancing tango for the rest of your life.
* Weight-Shifts…subtle; Arms…quiet; Chest…guide; Soul…connection.
* You no longer fear the lost-and-found that may happen during a dance.
* Your dancing shoes always look well-used.
* You can’t resist dancing a few tango steps whenever you cross a wooden floor.
* You’ve gone home after a dance with someone else’s glitter on your face.
* Shoes have new focus in your life.
* You find that you sandwich feet far more often than shake hands.
* You have reached a level where your tango reflects your spirit.
* You have considered crossing that line to become a tango gypsy.
* You have experienced the after-glow from a wonderfully connected tango.
* You find that dancers drawn to tango are the most interesting & passionate people you know.
* There is no question that you will always work to improve your dance.
* You draw satisfaction every time you break someone’s Hollywood misconception of the dance.
* You realize that dance presence is as important as dance moves.
* You have trembled in someone’s arms.
* Whenever you wait in line, you must fight the urge to randomly gancho those around you.
* Tango Hugs…mmmmmmm!