Comments on: Are You Who You Associate With? http://www.dekay.org/blog/archives/are-you-who-you-associate-with snippets about dancing, photography, technology and more (v.2.6a) Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:45:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: dekay http://www.dekay.org/blog/archives/are-you-who-you-associate-with#comment-189 dekay Sun, 03 Jul 2005 22:09:38 +0000 http://www.dekay.org/blog/archives/are-you-who-you-associate-with/#comment-189 <p>Jake: yes, I see where you are goiong, but there are a couple of problems I have with this approach. You are oversimplifying: there is no Spielberg around me that I can have as a peer all the time. If you just associate with "the successful" because you hope it somehow rubs off - tough luck. I am just not the one who will give in to this. But maybe we are all talkinga bout different stories here. If I were to start a company - yes I would hire mostly people who are successful and have the "stench of whatever I want to accomplish" with that company. But I would also throw in some trouble makers - just to make sure everything stays alive and nothing is taken for granted. If we are talking about personal growth - I do not believe that associaction is the way to go. Maybe I am not the pack rat - but I prefer contacts of varying qualities and especially of varying types - people and situations that challenge my view of the world - instead of chosing one way and sticking with people who do likewise. Life is just too boring to go someone elses way.</p> Jake: yes, I see where you are goiong, but there are a couple of problems I have with this approach. You are oversimplifying: there is no Spielberg around me that I can have as a peer all the time. If you just associate with “the successful” because you hope it somehow rubs off - tough luck. I am just not the one who will give in to this. But maybe we are all talkinga bout different stories here. If I were to start a company - yes I would hire mostly people who are successful and have the “stench of whatever I want to accomplish” with that company. But I would also throw in some trouble makers - just to make sure everything stays alive and nothing is taken for granted.
If we are talking about personal growth - I do not believe that associaction is the way to go. Maybe I am not the pack rat - but I prefer contacts of varying qualities and especially of varying types - people and situations that challenge my view of the world - instead of chosing one way and sticking with people who do likewise. Life is just too boring to go someone elses way.

]]> By: jake http://www.dekay.org/blog/archives/are-you-who-you-associate-with#comment-187 jake Sun, 03 Jul 2005 04:18:41 +0000 http://www.dekay.org/blog/archives/are-you-who-you-associate-with/#comment-187 <p>I think what Bert was trying to say is that success and failure are both contagious. Surround yourself by one or the other and you will become like them. If you hang out with a bunch of uneducated hippies who smoke weed and drink all the time, you probably would not get too far with your goals. However, if you associate yourself with goal-oriented, success-driven people who want more from life, they will most certainly inspire you to get your act together and push you towards success. If you want to make movies, would you rather associate with steven spielberg and the like, or with some punk kid who works at blockbuster? If you want to coach basketball, would you want to hang out with Phil Jackson, or your high school coach. The experiance and expertise also play an important role. You gain mentors and brainstorm with your peers. You develop a "Dream Team" and dominate your industry. That's why there are co-ops and trade associations. Consider the connections you make. Do you understand where I'm going Dekay?</p> I think what Bert was trying to say is that success and failure are both contagious. Surround yourself by one or the other and you will become like them. If you hang out with a bunch of uneducated hippies who smoke weed and drink all the time, you probably would not get too far with your goals. However, if you associate yourself with goal-oriented, success-driven people who want more from life, they will most certainly inspire you to get your act together and push you towards success.
If you want to make movies, would you rather associate with steven spielberg and the like, or with some punk kid who works at blockbuster? If you want to coach basketball, would you want to hang out with Phil Jackson, or your high school coach.
The experiance and expertise also play an important role. You gain mentors and brainstorm with your peers. You develop a “Dream Team” and dominate your industry. That’s why there are co-ops and trade associations. Consider the connections you make.
Do you understand where I’m going Dekay?

]]> By: dekay http://www.dekay.org/blog/archives/are-you-who-you-associate-with#comment-78 dekay Fri, 29 Apr 2005 19:00:07 +0000 http://www.dekay.org/blog/archives/are-you-who-you-associate-with/#comment-78 <p>I was thinking I missed a point, and I know I have gone too far with some things - especially away from the basic point of "becoming who you associate with".</p> <p>And yes, when you word it like that it is correct: you probably become like those who you hang out with - those who you associate with. But then is it not so that you hang out/associate with people who are like from the beginning? So then this would just be a self-fulfilling prophesy - those who are alike only strengthen their alikeness and focus less on their differences.</p> <p>But then this is coming back to my post and my point. I do not think this is a good thing for anyone to chose consciously. I think choosing the difference, choosing the variety, choosing the "other input" that is not like yourself is what will get you the next step ahead. Maybe not in the short run, but definitely in the long run.</p> <p>And re: cliches. Yes, they are exactly that. Some truth and enough polarization that there is no point in proving or disproving them, they are just extremes of a complex equation.</p> <p>Re: students: I actually was confused about you mentioning "bad behavior" and "pulling back". Maybe I was bringing too much of my own experiences into it, but from an academic standpoint both extremes can be valid (students being enriched or deafened by such a cooperation - forced cooperation). And I believe the same thing can be said for behavioral changes.</p> I was thinking I missed a point, and I know I have gone too far with some things - especially away from the basic point of “becoming who you associate with”.

And yes, when you word it like that it is correct: you probably become like those who you hang out with - those who you associate with. But then is it not so that you hang out/associate with people who are like from the beginning? So then this would just be a self-fulfilling prophesy - those who are alike only strengthen their alikeness and focus less on their differences.

But then this is coming back to my post and my point. I do not think this is a good thing for anyone to chose consciously. I think choosing the difference, choosing the variety, choosing the “other input” that is not like yourself is what will get you the next step ahead. Maybe not in the short run, but definitely in the long run.

And re: cliches. Yes, they are exactly that. Some truth and enough polarization that there is no point in proving or disproving them, they are just extremes of a complex equation.

Re: students: I actually was confused about you mentioning “bad behavior” and “pulling back”. Maybe I was bringing too much of my own experiences into it, but from an academic standpoint both extremes can be valid (students being enriched or deafened by such a cooperation - forced cooperation). And I believe the same thing can be said for behavioral changes.

]]> By: Bert http://www.dekay.org/blog/archives/are-you-who-you-associate-with#comment-76 Bert Fri, 29 Apr 2005 17:59:42 +0000 http://www.dekay.org/blog/archives/are-you-who-you-associate-with/#comment-76 <p>Sorry, you missed the point.</p> <ol> <li>I didn't stay at the church long...and you recognized the humor...that's good.</li> <li>Opposites attract -- a cute cliche...but still a cliche</li> <li>Not pairing certain students together was not related to academics, only behavior. Where did you read academics into that?</li> </ol> <p>Some of your other points had nothing to do with the actual subject of the post.</p> <p>I still stand by my point that one becomes like those with whom one associates on a consistent basis. The examples for this are quite numerous. This appears to be more a part of being human rather than conscious choice. If it were, by default, a conscious choice, perhaps we might see more drug dealers sitting down to dinner with accountants. My point is one can bring it to the conscious mind where it can be used for our benefit.</p> Sorry, you missed the point.

  1. I didn’t stay at the church long…and you recognized the humor…that’s good.
  2. Opposites attract — a cute cliche…but still a cliche
  3. Not pairing certain students together was not related to academics, only behavior. Where did you read academics into that?

Some of your other points had nothing to do with the actual subject of the post.

I still stand by my point that one becomes like those with whom one associates on a consistent basis. The examples for this are quite numerous. This appears to be more a part of being human rather than conscious choice. If it were, by default, a conscious choice, perhaps we might see more drug dealers sitting down to dinner with accountants. My point is one can bring it to the conscious mind where it can be used for our benefit.

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